Thursday, May 5, 2011

Valentine's Day in May

I remember distinctly a Valentine's Dance in the gym at my middle school when I was in 7th grade. It was the awkward phase of braces and still learning to put in contacts without letting them get dried out and look like you are winking at everyone. My mom took me to get a special dress for this dance because it was at night which was unusual for middle school, normally that is reserved for Highschool prom. Well I got the dress I remember to this day, a little short sparkly navy blue number. I was so proud of it, especially the sparkles.

Well I liked a boy. A whole lot. He took another girl to the dance. I remember getting there and thinking, okay, this isn't SO bad, someone will ask me to dance. At least one dance. Nope. The hour dragged on and I went outside the gym to sit on a bench as not to appear to be such a wallflower. I sat on the bench and smoothed my sparkly little dress over my skinny mid-school legs and the tears began to sting my eyes. I had spent so much time getting dressed up like a princess for a ball I didn't feel invited to.

Fast forward 12 years and sometimes I still feel like that. Life is a ball and I'm all dressed up, but I'm not being asked to dance. My friends are all married with babies & minivans & mortgages and I'm still sitting on that bench. Sometimes I am okay with that. Most days I am okay with that. Some days I want to sit on that bench and just cry.

This past week the Lord has been teaching me about waiting. Because he doesn't work under time restraints like we do, (He doesn't need an alarm clock or a blackberry reminder)his timing is absolutely always flawless. I need to rest my "princess" self in that. Trust in him. He tells me that daily, whispers in my ear in the mornings, "Meggie, my precious daughter, my princess, I am here. Hold onto me and trust me. I have a plan."
Okay God.

But you've been telling me that for so long, some days I want him to wake me up with a shout and say, "TODAY IS THE DAY!" I don't even know what I'm waiting for.

Princes are the work of fiction. But isn't our Lord bigger than fiction?
Yep. He is.

So he can write a story more beautiful than anything ever crafted by Shakespeare. The ink is still drying on the pages of the story of my life. I'm only on the precipice being asked to jump and TRUST. Leap & trust for He's got me covered. I don't need to concern myself with anything but preparing in being the most beautiful princess I can be: ON THE INSIDE. :)

What a relief, cause today I didn't feel like wearing the sparkly dress or even putting on a stitch of makeup. ;)

No comments: