Thursday, April 7, 2011

This is the final countdown...

If I see another can of low-sodium tuna or asparagus one more time, so help me.
Kidding. (kinda.)
This salad picture above is a typical meal for me at this point in the training.

I officially have 6 weeks and 2 days until Fitness New Mexico competition 2011. I competed last year in the Miss Bikini division and it was my very 1st show. Since then I competed OCB Natural Southwest 2010 and Fitness America Nationals 2010 in Las Vegas this past November.

Oh, how things have changed. When you get "lumped in" with other fitness competitors around the world it truly becomes its own sub-culture in your life. It becomes a part of who you are, like your capability to stomach a lean protein & green veggie diet becomes somewhat ingrained in you. You think in terms of fat grams, calories, you always check carbs, you know your workouts like the back of your hand, and you have tasted every brand of protein powder, and no, not a single one tastes all that wonderful without the aid of almond milk.

You have one of two options when faced with this sort of lifestyle:
1. Become JUST LIKE everyone else.
2. Stand in your bedazzled bikini with clear high heels and walk the path God has carried you along thus far.

You can float along, tread water if you everything the way others do it, sometimes you can become what I call "a fitness-woman obsessed." You can worry so much about not getting your workout done that you forget about friends and family and you can't think of much else but your training. You can put down others, have scathing words to say just because you secretly love to compete in every way you can. Well guess what? Putting another competitior down doesn't make you better. It doesn't make you look leaner to say she looks fatter, it doesn't make you a better person to point out her flaws...because let's face it, WE ALL HAVE THEM.

I won't be shy. I have stretch marks. I have places I would like to see more tone. I could always build more muscle because I am always convinced I don't have enough. My skin isn't always perfect, my nails usually look like crap thanks to lifting weights so often and biting my nails. I have callouses on my hands in places from gripping the weights.

But like I said, there are one of two options, and you can disagree with me, but I think with every hobby/goal/dream in life there is a fork in the road: Be who you aren't or be who you are. I am choosing daily (sometimes while gritting my teeth and forcing a smile) to walk the higher road. I don't always do this. I want to. I desire to walk this road of a dignified woman. I desire to embrace my fellow competitors and other women in my life and just love them for who they currently ARE and not who they COULD be. They are beautiful as they are. Regardless of any opinion, for that is what it is anyway, OPINION.

I have to tame my inner tiger of competition sometimes and say to myself all I can do is my best. I am competing against myself, NOBODY ELSE. For the woman who takes the stage after me could be one of my best friends. It usually is. I compete against my friends technically, but realistically I am competing only against me. For if I could choose, my best friends that I stand by and train with so many days of the year(Christine, Genieve, Elishia, Brittany) these women would all get 1st place. THEY DESERVE IT. The sweat, blood, & tears we put into these shows is more work than anything I have ever done in my life.

I can choose to be selfish or I can choose to cheer them on while they smile boldy on that stage under those bright lights.

I choose love. I choose the antithesis of self-absorbtion. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Here's to 6 weeks and 2 days lovies. I'll be rooting for you.

1 comment:

Cara S. said...

Loving your posts lady! The writing is amazing. While I clearly don't compete in fitness competitions I can relate to this post with just life you know!